So far things has been very awesome, i would say because im enjoying everyday! Whats recently happening, is that, I’m in NDP!! (NDP= National Day Parade, Its like a celebration for Singapore Birthday!! ) busybusybusy… not because of that but i have dance every wed, fri(for make-up lessons) and sun. so I’m busy…. plus NDP.Plus I’m doing my major exams this year, so it’s a little risky but i know its possible because i have a BIG Daddy up there who watches over me “eating pocky”..

I am so BLESSED!

Although, i’ve been moody once in a while.. weird thoughts just came rushing into my mind, i have no idea why but its just random things that i ignore years ago and its just back again, but oh well, i can’t be bothered about it though because everything happen for a reason and if they’re meant to stay, they will. I can’t predict the future? right?

My visions starting back again… NO! not that i’m blind,  what i meant was that, i see things every i go, NO! not that i see ghost, i see beautiful lights! passing through, zooming here and there and so on. when i was younger, i’m able to see animals, especially butterfly’s. so maybe there’s a different vision to see when you get mature.. haha

Anyway, I’m SOSO hungry nowadays! eating toast bread with cream cheese, minimum 2 pieces plus cereals(when I’m Starving Hungry). having photo chips after dinner or ice-cream or both. Having waffles too!! iknowiknow… dancers are supposed to be healthy, no snacks or unhealthy food but I’m growing! and i eat  lot to survive Thank God, i have high metabolism rate, maybe thats why my figure is still surviving till now HAH!

Ps: I’m going to stop here and go revise/study. . . . . . .  Bye peeps

Ps: Blessed day ahead!

-belovedfish

I have no idea why. I was just reading through one particular post and therefore decided to write again about these stuff. So well, I know most of you would LOVE it, that I’m posting this things again… so here goes nothing…

Flash back memory started and I just stared blankly into space. Somehow, deep down inside I know, we still feel that same connection we had years ago. It was the connection that we say would never blossom further. Now I’m blaming you for letting me go because you didn’t had the courage to take the first step, ask. One simple sentence and that connection might blossom, but you didn’t. & now, you want that connection back?! Are you serious??

No way! As I tell myself, still blankly staring into space.
What kind of guy does that? Half gay guy? You gave up on me first, and you’re the one that didn’t want to admit anything that was happening then. People could tell how close we were and yet, “sigh”. No way, am I giving you another change again!

After all the thinking while sitting there. I still got to admit that all this time, I was constantly thinking about him and how I wish there was a “future” between us. You’ve got to admit, the handsome structure of the face and the nicely manly body build. Was just irresistible, girls just can’t say no. Well, that’s not the reason for me, for me that was just a bonus with the character that I fell madly in love with once.

He still has that character that I love.
But there’s one character that I hate about him, indecisive. That’s why we can never be together. That’s why we call it quits, or should you say, I call it quits. & that’s why he’ll never learn why I’ll never be with him cause his indecisive. Why do I hate it so much? You must be thinking that right? It’s because of this character that irritates me, that gives me no secure in my/our future, that irks me a lot, that one day if we’re ever at the alter would he keep silent when it’s time for him to say “yes” or “no”? So do you understand my plight?

How hard is it to forget you. When I love you “SO MUCH” and hate you that “little” and that “little” means future to me/us? I’m not going to risk my life happiness for this SO MUCH and forgo the little. It means too much to me.

“Beep”, open text.

“Hi”

Ok guys I’m done for now want to sleep already:) well, will see my mood if I do wish to continue I post it with the same title + continue. Or else I’ll just start another story:D but isn’t it better this way? No, not because I’m lazy to continue. At least you guys can go imagine the rest and how you guys want it to end:) happy, sad, tragic, romantic, whatever you want the ending to be:)

Well ciao:) Nitez; sweet dreams. & God Bless.

-fishBeloved

As some of you know, during the past months, Jan and early feb. I hardly reply any text at all, unless it was really urgent. It’s because well.. I won’t say it first until full story is completed then I’ll do another post fully about it. Well, I want to say, sorry to some of you, haha You guys went to the extreme to call my mum, to check if I was still alive:D haha,adorable peeps:)
Well thankfully I am:) because somehow God gave the the strength to carry on, living:) I just needed time for my self because of the results, that I’m not proud of. But now…

I’m living and trusting and believing God that everything will go his way. I used to have big faith, like literally my faith with God was indestructible but this results and rejection in different ways, brought my faith from “there” to “there” down pit hole. It took me weeks or this two months Jan and feb to climb back up by believing God again. I can say, I am still learning to be stronger in faith.
I used to counsel people, giving them advice and thinking that the advice I give them was easy for them to accomplish it, until now. I realize it’s not as simple as that. Somehow, people tell you the right thing to do and you know it’s the right thing to do but you just can’t. Because you don’t know how it’s gonna happen in the end or it’s just simple hard to do it. Now I understand, you:) so when I do counsel again, I’ll put my state at that time and counsel them from how I’ve been through.

When some of you read this you’ll know what I’ve been through but for some, if your blur about it, don’t freed about it:) when the time is right to put full details and post it:)

Done with class tonight! AWESOME! & I should be sleeping now to wake up @6 tomorrow for a run.. Well then thanks for reading, you want a post here you go:) you’ve gotten more then what you asked for:)

Enjoy, God Bless <3
-fishBeloved

it can take you up to 1 day, 1 month, 1 year, 1 decade, 1 whole life to either solve it, hate it or Love it.

Love, do you know the real meaning of it? In layman term, it means simply, I want to be with you. But do you really know the meaning of LOVE? I can’t really remember who said it but’ the person said that LOVE means; loving the person shit*(what you normally do in the bathroom), the ugliest side of the person(the fart smell, the bad breath, the stinking feet after wearing sport shoe). that’s call LOVE. so do you know what love means now?

If at this point you’re saying “ewwwww”, “OMGosh”, “WTFish”, “WTHeaven” and you’re in a relationship and you think that your realtionship is “LOVE” then your not in love at all. You are just liking him or her at this point, no love at all.

Back to topic, “it can take you up to 1 day, 1 month, 1 year, 1 decade, 1 whole life to either solve it, hate it or Love it.”

I am sick of seeing people going into relationships that they know it’s not real, and that they’re bluffing themselves just because they need want one. I’m not saying it’s wrong to go into a relationship ( people say it’s for experience purposes but I’m still against it) but if you want a relationship so badly can you please go into one because of real love? Not because of pity, force, anxiety, or simply just because you have no other option to choose from. It’s just depressing to see young people doing it. They’re giving away part of their heart to this “person” who might not be ending up at the alter to say “I Do”. sad right? yah i know.

But don’t you want to find someone, that special “someone”. That you can give your entire heart to him or her? and know that you have done your part as the other party by giving your full heart to him or her, just because he or she is worth it?

Out from faithfulness, let’s talk about complications(love triangle).

It is common, counsel many and know that love triangle is common. like a situation where. A likes B, B likes C, C likes D but D likes A. well, not really a triangle but you get the idea.

how can you get out of it? Psycho yourself? yah, true, I have this old saying, “If it’s yours, It’s yours”. really, you either back it out or pursue it, where it can take up to “1 day, 1 month, 1 year, 1 ……”.

There’s a few ways to psycho yourself:

• He/she is a Je*k/B*tch (whatever you can think of)
• He/she is making use of me ( oh no this won’t do, some people rather be made used then never been used)
• He/she is not worth my waiting…
• He/she has CHANGED.

These are a few but well, the only good one here is the last one, positive and not cursing. Because when you curse your body gets old easily, so nono for that. See, i cancel the third one>? It dosen’t really help, if you don’t have a strong mindset about and if you’re just saying it and not believing it. Then this won’t do.

As i was saying the last one is GOOD because partly, they will changed somehow in time, everybody changed a little and therefore you can find fault with that changed. And that person that you adore, will adore someone else and they will changed for that someone else, so here’s another reason on finding fault with him/her. I don’t say this just because i know but because, i had a “bestfriend” who changed because of some one he adored and soon our friendship was affected and eventually became silent… Nope, This isn’t a love triangle or whatsoever love thinggy, i DO NOT have feelings for him at all. This just prove another thing, when LOVE comes in to the situation, friendship can even be destroyed

Tired and lazy to continue…

Ending up, Love is A Complicated affair.

Ps: you guys wanted something, so here go, read it and enjoy it

-belovedFish

After along time, we finally saw each other again.  How blessed i felt, how happy i was. Thanks & we know each other like the back of our hands, we shared secrets that we’ll bring it to our grave, “we” were the sweetest thing that ever happen in the past, we know what we’re thinking even if we don’t say it out, we laugh at each other because that’s how we show we care.

The common things we shared, we like the same tune from the song, we have the same hand movements for songs, we look at each other like there’s no tomorrow. So why am I still alive, after what happen?

don’t shake me.. that’s all i ask for.

Ok, people. hahaha , that is very random. Anyway, some parts are real but some are not, so go figure it out yourself. I just read my blogger and realize that many things happen and I’m still standing strong and tall because Jesus has brought me out from it and help me throughout the entire journey of it. Thankful & Blessed because Jesus and that Grace is here to stay and not going anywhere

Went to Kbox with Ky, Ym, Wendy, Diep, RongZ, Irwan & Jarrel. MY FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE IN KBOX! hahaha YES! you heard my right, My first time means i’ve never spend $$ on kbox until now!! Amazing? haha XD

Je t’aime à beaucoup de renoncer à cette mémoire

-dorifish

Firstly, I want to say. I AM SO PROUD TO BE A SINGAPOREAN!! <3

Seriously! S’pore is 45 Years of age + we’re hosting the very first YOUTH OLYMPIC GAMES!! wakakaka ^^, so proud *tears of joy* S’pore has grown sososo much in 45 years!!! Come on, use your thinking sense, It’s already a accomplishment that S’pore can grow so fast in a short period of time

Ok, what can i say now, well, For the past few days, i realized that i’ve been saying the word (Chill) for a almost a gogillion time! haha Not to my self but to the people around me! I dunno why but people have been piss off nowadays.

Next, O is coming, and of course a little stress and freak out but, I’ll manage as, Daddy God is with me all the way, through this race, with grace I’ll get ace so Yeah, I’ll manage with REST!

Didn’t go to Dance lesson on wed ( Very sad and frustrated! NO TIME! ( but i’ve been going for the friday lesson, but it’s two different lesson, so i’m also not really happy about it ( GOD! I want to, nono, I NEED to go for Dance Lesson! <3

Ok, that’s about it ;P, no inspiration to type more, no idea why too. so well, i’ll just stop here and go youtubing!! HAHA

So, in the morning, i got several good punches by several different people. OK, accept it since it’s a few and by the end of school day, i was smelling of Strawberry (THANK YOU SAM) and chocolate flavor and not forgetting having aches around my back and arms Tada, all summarize And Ahmad… Hai…. have not idea what he heard from the other side that he let go of my hand and BOOMZ, and there my butt went, on the floor! I have Special Cake from Antoi 2!! THANK YOU! so yeah correct 2 cakes on the same day, same time and same place and Not forgetting people who wish me through sms and fb THANKS!!! toooo many to name it

So, I’m not going to lie and say ” It’s done” when both of us know it’s ” Not done yet”. Yes, correct, the phone thing, sometimes, i still can’t get over it because I still ask myself  “Is it really over?”. Yes, I still ponder on question about what when wrong and what happen but then it still boils down to you. So tell me, do you think it’s really over? I want to really delete that but I can’t do it. because if I do, I’ll be blaming myself for doing it when time comes.

I will try to get over you, I will try to remember the times we had and cherish it, I will try not to msg you or call you, I will try to forget all the hardship we’ve been through, I will try to ignore you, I will try to change your perspective of me, I will try to change my perspective of you. But I will not try to forget the past that we shared.

Time flies and I’m pretty sure that both of us we’ll be over with each others’ past and before we know, we’ll be  able to say “It’s Done”. So for now, as far as both of us are concern, you go your way and I’ll go mine, you do your stuff and I’ll do mine. And if we’re ever addicted to msg each other, we’ll ignore each other msg or keep it short, to show that we’re losing interest about each others’ life.

so….

Yes, I’m not lying. I’m really trying to get over you.

Any link to any human being dead or alive is purely a coincidence and if You think this is somehow related to someone or some activities it is merely just you’re wildest imagination.

-belovedfish

Is life all about having regrets because we do not know when it’s going to be the last time we’ll see the person? People regret on not saying those words to their dearly ones and then blame themselves for living in denial for all this time. It’s sad to say that, this is why the word “Regret” was formed.

Many things have happen and it’s a shocked to realize that it’s all around you and it made you realize that this is what’s going to happen soon to yourself. Around the place where i stay, 2 funerals are taking place and before any of this happen, one afternoon, when i just came back from school, getting ready to bathe, i heard a scream. Nope, not a scream of fear but a scream of a heartpain, the scream was different, it sounded like a mother who lost her child during birth; the parents of a teenager who committed suicide;  your other half who was killed in a car crash. It was the cry of a heart pain. I felt sad, when i heard the scream that keeps on repeating itself. and soon enough, a funeral. which i thought of when i heard the cry.

I do not know how to explain this, in a simpler method. But to sum it all, the cry will lead to regrets after that.

I recently found out Singapore former DPM Mr Goh Keng Swee rested in old age. I recently found out that my cousin friend committed suicide. I recently found out that a young lady from Temasek Poly(Singapore) committed suicide. I recently found out some ones’ Grand Pa pass away. I recently found out someone was save because the other sacrifice them self to save the other. I also Recently found out that I might be loosing a really good friend.

With this things going on, the people around them, have you ever Thank The person by giving him/her a hug? Do we live to regrets only until we loose it? I have thought about it, I realize that If i do not want to live to regrets, i will have to start now by appreciating all that i have and do not. I will Say “I Love You” once in a while and mean it. I will enjoy the moment i have with them. I will take a million of pictures with them because a picture speaks a thousand words. I will remember the time we have together; the happy; sad; annoying; enjoyable; playful; argumentative; insulting; irritating; heartbreaking; exciting; laughable; painful;  secretive; good; bad and lovable times. Because i know I’m not getting it back, if I let it go.

So if you have not say what you want to say to your Love ones, Start Now! before it’s too late for regrets.

-belovedfish